


Polar Vortex

by orphan_account



Category: RedLetterMedia RPF
Genre: Anal Sex, Drunk Sex, Established Relationship, M/M, Oral Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-07
Updated: 2019-06-07
Packaged: 2020-04-12 05:10:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,663
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19125244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Mike and Jay try to stay warm during the coldest day ever in Milwaukee.





	Polar Vortex

**Author's Note:**

> This is about the Half in the Bag characters.

“Mike, the door is frozen shut!”

“Well, put your back into it or something! Jesus Christ!” Mike said over his shoulder as he was scrounging around numerous broken VCRs and shards of glass for another bottle of beer.

“Will you quit fucking shouting? And in case you haven’t realized it yet, this means we’re trapped in here,” Jay said, having already given up on getting the door open.

“Just grab the handle and yank it like a man!”

“You know that it’s questionable at best if I'm a man.”

Mike rolled his eyes and got up from his chair to see for himself. Why did Jay have to be so dramatic about everything? Knocking over a bunch of empty bottles, he lumbered over to Jay with exaggerated effort just to show him that he was being ridiculous and tried heaving the door open.

It didn’t budge at all.

Mike gripped the handle with both of his hands and tried shoving himself against it, grunting as it still wouldn’t move. Jay just glared at him the whole time. “Shit, the door really is stuck.”  
  
“Oh, now you believe me? But that’s not the worst part.”

“How can it get worse than freezing to death inside this shithole?”  
  
“We left the extra cases of beer outside.”  
  
“Fuck!”  
  
“But there’s some good news! Alcohol doesn’t freeze!”  
  
“Oh!”

“But any surviving hobos out there probably already stole them.”  
  
“Aww, fuck.” Mike wrapped his arms around himself and suddenly felt colder. He looked up and down at Jay, who was bundled up in his usual black hoodie under his work shirt, and he imagined that he must have trouble retaining heat due to his small stature. He almost suggested that they should huddle together to keep warm, but Jay was still pouting at the loss of all that perfectly good beer and didn’t seem like he was in the mood for a cuddle. For now, anyway. “Well, at least we have the beer we left behind the counter. And in the storeroom. And in the bathroom. And in the crawlspace.”

Jay sighed. “Thank fuck. I need a drink.”

They both trudged over to the backroom where the couch was and settled in for the long wait until morning when they could actually escape from this place. Hopefully the sun would melt the ice or they’d have to start clawing and digging their way out like snow varmints or something.

“You wanna watch a movie?” Mike asked, fishing around for the bottle opener buried between the couch cushions.

“Sure, I can download whatever on my phone. Anything in mind?”

“How about _Ishtar_? It’s in a desert.”

“Fuck no,” Jay laughed. “How about something more recent?”

“Recent? Nothing good comes out in January, because fuck all of us, that’s why. Let’s just watch _Tremors_.”

“Sounds like a plan. Hey, hand me that bottle opener?” As Mike did so, their fingers brushed together briefly. Jay noticed this and gave Mike a sort of giddy smirk, scooting closer to him. Mike grinned and leaned in against Jay, and it wasn’t just to get a better view of the movie on the phone.

Suddenly the room felt much warmer despite their only exits out of the repair shop being frozen shut due to the sub-arctic temperatures outside. What more could Mike want? He was curled up next to Jay, watching a movie, and they still had some beer left. The cold didn’t seem so bad. And if they could handle Mt. Everest, then they could handle this just as easily.

When the credits on the film started rolling, Jay started laughing at nothing as Mike took his hand in his and attempted to get him off the couch. “You’re so drunk!” Jay accused, drunkenly. He stood up with Mike anyway and they both tried not to stumble into anything.

“I only drank, like, five bottles of beer. _Maybe_ ten,” Mike said as he lead Jay into a different room in the shop with many broken VHS cassette tapes and a conveniently placed bed on the floor.

“I’m so glad we have this filthy mattress back here,” Jay sighed, content, as he threw an empty beer bottle out into the hallway.

With surprising coordination, Mike cleared the mattress of stray debris and practically shoved Jay onto it. He was quickly on top of him, pressing their mouths together, before Jay could even make a noise of surprise.

Jay responded by kissing him back just as messily, his arms curling up around Mike’s shoulders. With a little bit of nudging, he opened his legs wider for Mike to settle comfortably between them. After a moment, Mike reluctantly stopped kissing him in order to better pry off Jay’s work shirt and the hoodie underneath it. Fuck, he knew it was cold, but did he _have_ to wear so many layers?

“Do we still have condoms?” Jay asked as he unbuttoned Mike’s own shirt. Once that was off, Mike threw his and Jay’s _Lightning Fast_ shirts across the room.

“Don’t worry, Susan, I won’t get you pregnant,” he said as he tugged his pants down and kicked them off.

Jay snorted as he tried not to laugh. “Shut up.”

As soon as they were both completely free of clothing, Mike was right back on top of Jay, kissing his neck and throat. Jay’s hands roamed all over Mike’s back, leaving heat wherever he touched him.

“Fuck, you’re warm,” Jay groaned, arching his back like he was trying to get even closer to Mike.

Mike left a kiss on Jay’s bobbing Adam’s apple. “You can thank my blubber for that,” he murmured as seductively as he could.

“I fucking love it.” Of course he did. Mike had known for years that Jay was a bit of a sex weirdo and that he actually liked the feeling of Mike’s weight nearly crushing him during their intimate moments. That was just one of many, many reasons that Mike loved this goofy yet perfect little man underneath him.

Shuffling down, Mike planted kisses on Jay’s chest and stomach, enjoying every little whimpered noise that Jay made as he got closer to his cock. He breathed hot, moist air above the tip of Jay’s prick and finally took him into his mouth.

Jay jerked slightly, his thighs shaking, his hands in Mike’s hair. “Mike, that’s so fucking good…”

After sucking his cock for a while, Mike glanced up at Jay to appreciate the view from between his legs and noticed that Jay was looking blissed out already. But he wasn’t about to let Jay come just yet.

Mike pulled free from Jay’s cock with a wet _pop_ and flopped back on top of him. He reached over to where there was a bottle of lube knocked over by some spare VCR parts, grabbing it and handing it over to Jay, who poured a generous amount onto his hand. Mike let out a low growl when Jay’s hand came into contact with his cock, slicking him up entirely.

Mike gave Jay another deep, rough kiss as Jay’s hand stroked him up and down. “Mike,” Jay gasped when he was able to pull free from Mike’s hold on him. “Wait a second--Mike! Wait, swap places with me.” He scooted himself out from underneath Mike, nudging him downward as he shifted up.

Mike let himself collapse back onto the mattress, his hands gripping Jay’s warm thighs as Jay straddled him. Jay nearly fell over onto Mike’s chest doing that and he giggled, still very much inebriated, but he sat upright again. Jay reached behind to take Mike’s cock in his hand, lifting himself up a little to better position himself over it. Mike watched in rapt attention as Jay slid down slowly onto his length--Jay looked perfect like this, his lips wet and shiny, his face flushed red, his perfectly coiffed hair becoming disheveled.

“Oh, fuck,” Mike groaned, snapping his hips up as Jay buried himself to the hilt. To hell with that stupid blizzard outside, he was happy to stay exactly like this with Jay bouncing on his cock until spring came. Jay cursed and leaned back, bracing himself on Mike’s legs to keep from toppling over. His thighs were bound to be sore tomorrow, for sure.

“Goddammit. I’m getting cold but don’t wanna get up. Could you--” Jay swatted hazily in the general direction of where his hoodie landed on the floor.

“Gotcha.” Mike didn’t have to stretch far to grab Jay’s black hoodie, and he handed it over to him. “You don’t wanna freeze your nipples off.” Jay giggled again and was somehow able to put on his hoodie without falling over. God, how could Jay look even _more_ perfect like this? Mike thrusted upward again, harder, and Jay moaned in response as he got the angle just _right_. Seemed like neither he nor Jay were going to last long like this, both of them heating up even with the cold, biting air around them.

“Fuck, _Mike_ ,” he breathed out. With his head flung back, throat exposed, Jay blindly groped for the hand on his thigh and latched onto Mike’s wrist tightly like an anchor as he came, the droplets landing on Mike’s stomach.  “Mike, Mike… fuck...” he continued babbling as he ground down on him during the aftershocks.

Tightening his hold on Jay’s hips -- probably hard enough to leave some finger-shaped bruises later -- Mike growled deep within his chest as he thrusted more rhythmically, burying himself in, spilling inside him. “Ahh, fuck,” he sighed, taking the hand wrapped around his wrist and intertwining their fingers together.

Jay collapsed onto Mike’s chest, breathing hard, grinning and laughing for no reason against Mike’s mouth. Lazily Mike kissed that smile, that warmth. He was definitely in no hurry to go anywhere.

“We should probably go clean up,” Jay said when they parted for air, still cuddled up against Mike.

“Nah, let’s just lie here in our own filth."  
  
“Sounds good to me.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to my OT4 on Discord for bullying me into writing. ❤️  
> And a big thank you to goodoldfashioned for being such an amazing writer. ❤️


End file.
